what does a low blood sugar feel like?

I have had people ask me this question over the years that I have been diabetic.  I never know how to answer.  "It feels horrible?"  "Like you just might die?"  Those just don't seem like the right answers.  It just isn't fun that is for sure!  I remember the first low I ever had.  I had just been diagnosed a day or two before and we had just come home from the grocery store.  I remember dropping to the floor in our kitchen and telling my mom that I thought I was going to die!! Surely I wasn't supposed to feel like this!  Well I guess you start to get used to it but that doesn't keep it from wiping you out! Does anyone else feel exhausted after a low?

looking forward to my A1c

For years I have dreaded going to my diabetes check ups and to get my A1c.  I hate going in to talk to the doctor when I know that my numbers have not been what I know it should be and its my fault for not taking control.  I have made changes lately and hopefully my new A1c will be awesome! I may actually be excited to go see the Doctor and not filled with dread!  So here is to a good number!

bad night?

My husband always wakes me up to say goodbye before he leaves to work and then I usually go back to sleep.  The other morning as he was leaving he said "sleep in honey, I see you had a rough night".  I looked at him confused.... How did he know that I had a rough night?  He then proceeded to tell me that he could tell I had gotten low by the fruit snack wrapper on my nightstand, the dirty dishes on the counter, and the bag of Cheetos I had left on the kitchen table.  Haha it was one of those lows where I was starving and couldn't stop eating!!! I pretty much ate everything in sight! Yes I did wake up the next morning with  high blood sugar.
 I for years thought that I was the only one who experienced this when they got low.  It wasn't until I started reading other diabetic blogs that I realized it was pretty normal to feel like you could eat everything!!!
My mom used to find me when I was a teenager in the middle of the night sitting in the pantry eating after a low.

How I organize my diabetes bag

I use a cosmetic bag that I bought from Pier 1 Imports a few years ago to keep my diabetes supplies organized in my purse.  I love the fact that it has so many pockets and then all zips up in to one bag.  This is how I organize the supplies that I like to always have with me. 

Here it is all zipped up

And it fits just great in my purse!

Now I am always prepared for my diabetes throws at me.  Well almost always...

half my life

12 years ago today I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I was 12 years old and in 7th grade.  I really did not know much about the disease and I had no idea how my life would change.  I was lucky to have caught my diabetes before my blood sugar was so out of control.  I didn't have to spend the night in the hospital but that also meant that they sent me on my way at dinner time with a syringe and insulin.  I was terrified! All of the sudden mealtime wasn't so easy.  I could only eat so much and I was starving all the time. I remember crying in the car a few days later because I was so hungry but I could only eat so many carbs and only at certain times.  I was already sick of carrots and sugar free Jello (you can only eat so much sugar free Jello).  I stayed home from school for a few days while I got used to taking shots and testing my blood sugar.  I remember my first low blood sugar.  My mom and I had just come home from the grocery store and I started feeling so strange.  My diabetes educator had explained how a low would feel but it is honestly a feeling that is hard to explain.  I remember dropping to the floor in our kitchen.  I was laying on the floor telling my mom "I THINK I'M DYING"  she grabbed my test kit and I checked my blood sugar I was low and I ate some glucose.  Soon the "I THINK I'M DYING" feeling started to go away.

Now "what is my blood sugar?"  is what I think about when I wake up in the morning and all day long....

That day 12 years ago I didn't realize all of the bad, no fun things that I was going to have to deal with the rest of my life.  There were also some things I would have never experienced if I wasn't diabetic.  I have fond memories of diabetes camp( I LOVED camp), snow cone fundraisers at the rodeo, and I know people now that I never would have met if it weren't for diabetes.  So maybe there is a silver lining.

I am very thankful for my friends and family that have helped me and given me support.  I know I couldn't do this without them!

Walk for a cure

Today I had the opportunity to participate in the JDRF walk for diabetes for the first time.  It was really fun! There was a great turnout.  I believe that just over $65,000 was raised to help cure diabetes.

                                               It was a beautiful 3 mile walk

                                                      We finished!

It always feels good to be surrounded by people who know what you deal with everyday.  I didn't have to feel weird when I pulled our my test kit to test my blood sugar before lunch.  I also learned about a new insulin pump that is smaller and easier to use called a T:slim.  It is amazing the advances that keep being made.  Someday there will be a cure!

sometimes you just have to laugh

I started making a list the other day of some funny things that have happened to me because of diabetes.  Sometimes you just have to laugh to make you feel better right?  I love this website when I need some good laughs about diabetes.  http://type1diabetesmemes.tumblr.com/

One of their posts I thought was funny.

diabetesmemes

I have had some funny things happen because I wear an insulin pump.  I got my first pump when I was in 9th grade.  One of the boys in my class consistently called it my pacemaker for the rest of the year because he could not remember what it really was (even though I would correct him.... every time). I finally gave up.  Fast forward like 6 years and I was going through security at the airport and the man doing the body scanning said to me "oh is that your pacemaker? OK go on through" I just smiled and nodded.  Sometimes its just not worth correcting.

While in middle school I had my math teacher try to take away my pump during class.  He thought it was a  pager of all things and wanted me to hand it to him because they are not allowed in class.  I told him that I couldn't because it was my insulin pump.  He didn't believe me and insisted that I give it to him. I finally showed him the tubing and told him "see? Its connected. Do you still want to take it away?"  He didn't.

Once in high school while at a football game with some friends I wasn't feeling very well.  A cute new boy came up and was talking to my friend and I.  I guess I wasn't looking too well because my friend turned to me and said "you don't look like you feel good, are you high?"  Cute boy's face was priceless... He said "you really shouldn't do drugs!"  I almost wanted to play along, but I didn't.  I then explained that my friend meant  my blood sugar was high and I didn't do drugs.

I have also had people ask me if I could put Mountain Dew in my pump.  Random right?

I love to laugh, and even though diabetes is a serious disease laughing helps!

Denial?

I have now have had diabetes for almost 12 years.  Of that 12 years I have been on the pump for almost 10. I think in some ways the pump has made me a little lazy. This is something that I don't like to admit but sometimes I "forget" I am diabetic.  You may think that sounds crazy right?  I don't "forget" for long really, just long enough to "forget" to take insulin for that cheesecake I just ate or "forget" to test before dinner.

Now here is where the denial comes in.  I know that I have diabetes, so I am not really in denial, but sometimes it is just easier to pretend that I am not diabetic.  When I was in school I would try to hide my pump and not tell people that I was diabetic.  In fact my husband didn't find out that I was diabetic until like our 4th date? We were sitting in a movie theater watching Pirates of the Caribbean, when I realized that my blood sugar was dropping fast.  We hadn't gotten any snacks for the movie, so I hurried and tried to search through my purse in the dark theater.  I soon realized that not only did I not have any glucose, juice or fruit snacks, but I also did not have any money with me! Talk about being unprepared! So whispering, I asked him "um can I have some cash, I need candy now!". I didn't even care what he thought, I just knew that I needed sugar and I needed it now! He handed me some cash with a confused look on his face and I ran out into the lobby. When I came back a few minutes later, candy in hand and starting to feel much better, I sat down and pretended like everything was normal.  All he did was turn to me and say "your diabetic?" I said "yep" and he just nodded and said "alright". Luckily it didn't scare him off!

Well the so called denial is stopping now! I am not going to "forget" anymore.  This is one of the main reasons that I decided to start this blog. This is my way of embracing and starting over with my diabetes. Wish me luck and thanks for stopping by!

D day

My "D" day (diabetes diagnosis day) is a day that I will never forget.  It was May 1, 2001.   I was in 7th grade.  We would watch Channel One News everyday in Homeroom.  They had a special one day on Diabetes and its symptoms.  I don't remember the exact words but it went something like this...

Channel 1: "Diabetes symptoms include"
(and on the screen appeared a list)
Channel 1: Excessive thirst
Me: um...check.
Channel 1: Frequent urination
Me: hmmm.... I have used all of my hall passes and I did get up four times last night to go to the bathroom... check.
Channel 1: unexplained weight loss
Me: Last Sunday I could't get my skirt that had fit me perfectly to stay up... Check.
and etc.

Anyways I quickly started to realize that I might have diabetes.  I went home and talked to my mom and she had been wondering the same thing. We had been on a family vacation camping in Death Valley shortly before and lets just say we had to stop at basically every bathroom/port-a-potty there was! We made an appointment for me to see my Doctor.

When we were in the Doctors office my mom told him that we had done some research and we believed that I had diabetes.  My doctor looked at us skeptically and told us that he didn't believe that was what was wrong with me.  My mom told him that she wanted him to test my blood.  So they sent me down the hall to get some blood drawn. I was terrified.... I hated needles and honestly hadn't had much experience with them.  After they drew the blood I was starting to walk back to the exam room and I started to feel dizzy. A kind nurse saw how pale I was and offered me a bag of M&Ms.  Little did I know that would be the last thing I would eat before my life became dependent on carb counting, injections, and finger pokes.

We waited quietly in the exam room waiting for the Doctor to come back.  I remember feeling oddly at peace at this time.  When he finally came back I only had to take one look at his face and I knew. I was diabetic his face said it all.  My life would forever change from that day forward.  My mom started to cry and I just had this feeling come over me.  It was like I already knew and was expecting to get this diagnosis.
I was extremely lucky. My fasting blood sugar was only in the 300's, so I didn't have to stay in the hospital.

The nurse immediately gave me a shot of insulin and they sent me to meet with the Diabetes Educator at the hospital.  My Diabetes Educator was amazing.  She sat me down with my mom and started going over everything I needed to know.  She also assured me that there was nothing that I couldn't do now that I had Diabetes.  Well I think she did tell me that I couldn't be a fighter jet pilot but that didn't bother me too much.

Later that same day while we were with the Diabetes Educator she said "well its about dinner time".  Then she handed me a needle and a bottle of Insulin.  I gave myself a shot for the first time.  I had to get over my fear of needles rather quickly!

Now almost 12 years later diabetes is obviously a major part of my life.  I have had many experiences that have caused me to start this blog.  I will do a post on that later.

Thanks for stopping by!