I have now have had diabetes for almost 12 years. Of that 12 years I have been on the pump for almost 10. I think in some ways the pump has made me a little lazy. This is something that I don't like to admit but sometimes I "forget" I am diabetic. You may think that sounds crazy right? I don't "forget" for long really, just long enough to "forget" to take insulin for that cheesecake I just ate or "forget" to test before dinner.
Now here is where the denial comes in. I know that I have diabetes, so I am not really in denial, but sometimes it is just easier to pretend that I am not diabetic. When I was in school I would try to hide my pump and not tell people that I was diabetic. In fact my husband didn't find out that I was diabetic until like our 4th date? We were sitting in a movie theater watching Pirates of the Caribbean, when I realized that my blood sugar was dropping fast. We hadn't gotten any snacks for the movie, so I hurried and tried to search through my purse in the dark theater. I soon realized that not only did I not have any glucose, juice or fruit snacks, but I also did not have any money with me! Talk about being unprepared! So whispering, I asked him "um can I have some cash, I need candy now!". I didn't even care what he thought, I just knew that I needed sugar and I needed it now! He handed me some cash with a confused look on his face and I ran out into the lobby. When I came back a few minutes later, candy in hand and starting to feel much better, I sat down and pretended like everything was normal. All he did was turn to me and say "your diabetic?" I said "yep" and he just nodded and said "alright". Luckily it didn't scare him off!
Well the so called denial is stopping now! I am not going to "forget" anymore. This is one of the main reasons that I decided to start this blog. This is my way of embracing and starting over with my diabetes. Wish me luck and thanks for stopping by!